Gas Guzzlers, A New Ocean Hazard: Shortboarders and Longboarders United in Their Outrage

Note: Tune into Coastal Currents ( or 104.3/104.7 FM) today at noon for more on beach trash.

“News” from the beach:

A Toyota Sequoia adrift near the South Jetty. Owner claims to have been advised by "the radio."

A Toyota Sequoia adrift near the South Jetty. Owner claims to have been advised by “the radio.”

 EUREKA, Calif. – Forget great white sharks, North Coast surfers have a new coastal hazard to dodge: oversize gas guzzler vehicles washing into the surf zone. Out at the popular Power Poles surf spot, a location once known for its wide sandy beach, disfigured Chysler LeBarons, Ford F150s and Chevrolet Tahoe sports utility vehicles now protrude like miniature Buddha Rocks along the surf line.

Surfers are puzzled by the mysterious and abrupt appearance of these discarded vehicles. “Dude, they just started showing up, like, this week,” said surfer Joe Crabbe. “They, like, came out of nowhere.I was about to get so pitted and then, bwaa! – I nearly bashed into one! That would have really hurt and messed up my board, man.”

Concern over the wayward vehicles is not limited to recreational enthusiasts. Environmental groups are united in their opposition to cars washing up on the beach. “We will be going after whoever is behind this,” stated Jessica Hall, Executive Director of Humboldt Baykeeper, “we will kick their ass.” Humboldt Surfrider Chairperson Jennifer Savage added, “We have a lead as to who encouraged the illegal dumping of gas guzzlers. He will be dealt with.”

The owner of a dumped Toyota Sequoia was apprehended Wednesday morning by authorities. Through his attorney, he admitted to abandoning the vehicle out on the South Jetty. His attorney claims a Public Service Announcement on the radio encouraged drivers to push their cars off the jetty in the name of saving the planet.

The authorities welcome leads about the source of this PSA.


2 Responses

  1. Right. There is supposedly a radio station running psa’s that say to drive your suv into the bay? I’m not buying it. I can speak for 5 radio stations that run no such psa’s.

  2. Ummmm… I think it’s a joke? Photoshopped? If so, hilarious!

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